100 portretów na 100-lecie Jastrzębiej Góry: Rafał Jankowski – Jankes z Warszawy

To będzie opowieść o Rafale, którego z nami nie ma. To będzie opowieść moja. Tak, jak ja, to pamiętam – (cykl: 100 portretów na 100-lecie Jastrzębiej Góry) opisuje Aleksandra Ciskowska-Seletyn.


Rafał był mieszkańcem Jastrzębiej Góry. Był. Bo Rafała już nie ma. Ale nie zawsze był z Jastrzębiej. Potem też już nie. Był krótko. Bo życie człowieka jest krótkie, zbyt krótkie.

Jankes przyjechał z Warszawy. Był inny. Rozmawiało się z nim na ważne tematy. Trochę filozofowało. Szczupły, lekko zagrabiony z figlarnym spojrzeniem czarnych oczu, szczupłymi dłońmi o długich delikatnych palcach. Przyjechał z mamą i ojczymem.

Rodzicom Rafała Jankowskiego tekst ten dedykuję.

Podobno po poważnym wypadku. Potem też był wypadek, jeszcze poważniejszy. Głupi, młodzieńczy skok na główkę do wody. Długie miesiące w szpitalu, strach, że nie będzie już nigdy chodził.

Samotność, wpatrzona w biel szpitalnego sufitu. Zupy przez rurkę. I listy pełne błędów, niezgrabnie pisane w powietrzu słabym ołówkiem. A potem znowu młodość.

Swoboda, beztroska, żona, dzieci i Szczecin.

Dziś już Rafała nie ma. Została tylko ta fotografia i to, co napisał dawno, dawno temu, kiedy wydawało się, że przed nim całe życie.

Pisał: „Śmierć nie jest w życiu człowieka czymś strasznym, bo najstraszniejsza jest bezczynność i samotność, z którą nie każdy może sobie dać radę”.

Nie wiem, jak poradził sobie Rafał. Zmogła go choroba, ale może nie… Może nie, bo przecież jest na tej fotografii leżącej od wieków w pudełku, zamkniętej w czterech ścianach mojej szafki.

I z pewnością nie tylko ja go pamiętam.

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